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Job-hunting made difficult
The Dime
wilowisp
The on-going search for employment by Area College Graduate was made difficult by the fact that the recent Alum of Area College has no marketable skills what-so-ever. Having never worked in food services or retail, lacking all but a fundamentary working knowledge of computers and being without personal automotive transportation, the Graduate has become more frustrated and bewildered by the Real World. "Wow," he said in a recent interview, "I guess deconstructing Naomi Wallace's In the Heart of America through post-Freudian analysis won't get me a job at Ragstock. Who would have thought?"

The Graduate is currently planning to spend then next few hours 'curled into a ball hoping the universe takes some notice and pity'. Experts denounce this plan as 'self-indulgent', 'spoiled' and 'unrealistic'. "The universe doesn't take pity," said post-collegiate expert Mia Hamrod. "The universe helps those that help themself. This College Graduate has a lot of growing up to do, and I'm not talking about the kind that leads to a post-structuralist's fascination with the artificiatily of theology as divinity but rather as politic."

Sources close to the Graduate claim that he is filled with unrealistic hopes and dreams for employment, and should just get his application for Arby's ready.

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Or, yet a third unsolicited idea (sorry)--have you checked to see what Mac is hiring right now? It's not the nicest bus ride from Uptown, but it's do-able, and they pay a lot better than your average retail crap job. If the Admissions office is looking for anybody (that's where Satya and I temped), we could email Anne Walsh and give her your name :). Always good to have an in, I guess.


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