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Job-hunting made difficult
The Dime
wilowisp
The on-going search for employment by Area College Graduate was made difficult by the fact that the recent Alum of Area College has no marketable skills what-so-ever. Having never worked in food services or retail, lacking all but a fundamentary working knowledge of computers and being without personal automotive transportation, the Graduate has become more frustrated and bewildered by the Real World. "Wow," he said in a recent interview, "I guess deconstructing Naomi Wallace's In the Heart of America through post-Freudian analysis won't get me a job at Ragstock. Who would have thought?"

The Graduate is currently planning to spend then next few hours 'curled into a ball hoping the universe takes some notice and pity'. Experts denounce this plan as 'self-indulgent', 'spoiled' and 'unrealistic'. "The universe doesn't take pity," said post-collegiate expert Mia Hamrod. "The universe helps those that help themself. This College Graduate has a lot of growing up to do, and I'm not talking about the kind that leads to a post-structuralist's fascination with the artificiatily of theology as divinity but rather as politic."

Sources close to the Graduate claim that he is filled with unrealistic hopes and dreams for employment, and should just get his application for Arby's ready.

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Something will turn up. Have you tried applying to theatres that need if not tech sort of help then at least box office or something? They probably won't pay stellar, but when you are unemployed something is better than nothing in the money department. That is my current state. Part time employed for not much pay, but at least some money is coming in. You could try getting a job at my own holding place, you could tell Maria that you are a friend of mine. The Uptown Borders get lots of people applying, but if you stumble in at the right time, good things can happen. You could also check and see if anyone we know is going to be working at DRC this summer that you could car pool with. They also have a Minnetonka location which could be busable I think.

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