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Musings on a Marriage: The Misters Winters
Muted Real
I wax rhapsodic about how our party was for our friends and family, how it was a chance to share something magical with so many people. But at the bones of it, there wouldn't have been a wedding without my husband.

First, I do mean that in the most practical of senses. He was such a driving force behind the planning, goading my natural perfectionism-procrastination into something actually productive. He scoped the Varsity, found the Weismann would be ready in time for our date, designed the invitations and the website. Without him, the whole affair would never have come off as well as it did.

But of course I also mean that without my husband, my partner, my love, there would have been nothing to celebrate.

It seems like there was never really a question of if we would marry - only a question of when. Our being together for the rest of our lives has felt like an inevitability since our first few weeks of dating. I hear stories of the pressure that planning a wedding can put on couples' relationships, yet this really only brought us together more. Once in a while, I got cold feet to the event itself, but never to the idea of wedding him (Vegas elopement crossed both our minds on more than one occasion).

I thought that once it was over, and we called each other husband, things would wind down to some semblance of normal. We've been together for nearly nine years, living together for seven, what could the morning after really bring us?

Surprisingly, at least to me, there was and remains a honeymoon phase. We aren't draped over each other like 20-year-olds again, or suddenly awash in romantic gestures. It's more like our senses have been reawakened to how good things are, an easy thing to get acclimated to. We touch more, we laugh more, we say "I love you" with a touch more weight and awareness. Grievances are mere trifles to be brushed off, and burdens shared are burdens lessened.

It's probably completely sickening to anyone watching from the outside. And that's too damn bad. Because I love my husband wholly, and will always remember the day that we started as two grooms and ended as a married couple, until eternity.

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And thank you for pointing out that our celebration was not only a good party, but had an emotional impact on guests. It's very humbling to hear.

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