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Strike up the band
The Dime
I didn't expect filling out the DJ forms to stress me out this much. For some reason, the music seems like a HUGE FREAKIN' DEAL to me. The first dance, the mothers dance, the grand entrance, all need to be chosen with absolute care. It is suggested that we select around 10 songs to be sure the DJ plays for the dance, and I couldn't be taking this any more seriously, pouring through my CDs and mp3s and my memory for every last song that has been on my mind for ever more than a moment.

My boy tells me to relax. He tells me to take a step back. He reminds me that the odd and eclectic set that I am building isn't right for a wedding reception. The DJ needs to know the songs, and even more importantly, our guests need to know the songs in order to keep the dance alive.

I bristle against that. For some unclear reason, this is the part that I struggle to reconcile. For other pieces of the wedding, I have accepted that it is more for the sake of our family, our friends, the party, tradition than it is for me. But the music, the dance...

I have too many songs I want to dance to. I have songs that say so much about me and about us and I want people to experience. I don't push my tastes on people too often. But in dance, in dance, in dance... I want something to reflect me more than the goddamn chicken dance.

But he's right. No one will leap up to the dance floor for Raspberry Swirl or Teeth or Heads Will Roll or Cobrastyle. It is not my dance, it is the dance we will hold for everyone else. So I have to learn my compromise here as well, trying to paint a picture of us for the DJ that will not get lost in your standard reception favorites. I will get to that compromise eventually, I know.

It just felt like an opportunity I wouldn't get again, but I could not tell you an opportunity for what.

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To hell with compromise; you only get to do this once.

We will leap to dance to whatever you love, because we love you.

(And if you spare us from "reception favorites," I will love you even more.)


Saying stuff like that on my wedding day will make me openly weep, even if I weren't planning on consuming massive amounts of alcohol.

I can't just drop my songs, even if I know a compromise will be inevitable. There's a chance that we'll get a DJ who gets it based on the songs we select. But there will still be those in attendance who will request the 'reception favorites', so the more you tell me of the ones you HATE, the more I can try to explicitly remove them from play.

Ditto to the comment below about the Chicken Dance. Or the Macarena. I'll give you a pass on YMCA, but I won't like it. Honestly, anything with an associated "dance." Except Hava Nagila, because if you want to throw down with the horah, I am for it.

I would also very much like to curtail the "Cupid Shuffle", the Electric Slide, and the Lean Back. But inevitably there will be someone (my money on a relative) that will request it.

This is your wedding. If you want to do an interpretive dance to Carmina Burana to express your joy, that is your prerogative.

Also, I will cut a bitch if I hear the Chicken Dance. Just saying.

As much as I despise the Chicken Dance, it might be worth it just to see you cut a bitch. Cause I was looking forward to seeing that at the slash panel.


We need to get wall-humpingly drunk next year, even while we stay the hell away from that panel.

if you want to play your songs and do your dance routine, that's awesome. it's your wedding and you should do what you want. however, the trade off is that people will be sitting at tables and standing at the bar and outside smoking instead of on the dance floor. there's not anything wrong with that - it's just what will happen. and if you're okay with that, then go with it.

if you see the dance as a statement about you and Andy, then that's what it is. but I think most people see the wedding dance as a celebration of happiness and joy. and seeing your friends and loved ones dance like drunken idiots with big smiles on their faces might be an awesome expression of that. and maybe you just might see your brother start macking on your sister's bff from 5th grade or your parents dancing to Usher and have something to laugh about for hours. who knows? ;)

perhaps a compromise would be to make a mix CD of songs that people can take home that says things about you and your relationship? that way you could still get your vision out, but maybe a little Curly Shuffle could still get in.

I don't know. it's just my opinion. and we both know that dance means a lot more to you than to I. I just like to have fun.

You very accurately sum up the other side of the argument, and why I took Andy's warnings to heart. I don't want an empty dance floor, and that's the balance I need to work out, the risks and the rewards. Or maybe just stop being such a damn queen about the whole thing.

I would SO get up and dance to those! Actually, I have before, for Raspberry Swirl. Me and, I think 2 other women at the bar. We convinced the DJ to play it, for a birthday, even though he knew no one else would dance. He was right, but at least some of the non-dancers enjoyed watching.

But the thing is, you can throw in at least one or two songs just for you, and still keep the party rockin' for family and friends. Everyone needs a break from dancing occasionally, and it can also be fun to watch the happy couple doing their own thing on the dance floor.

And speaking of "reception favorites," my brother got married last weekend and they did this strange dance to some cowboys and Indians song (the kind of dance with interpretive moves that you teach to kids, like three fingers behind the head for Indian and twirling a lasso for cowboy, etc.). It may have been something either German or former-Yugoslavian (mother and father of the bride, respectively), and most people just watched. Great fun though!

And did I ever tell you about some friends of my sister, who did the Thriller dance as their first dance as a couple?

In other words, go to town - make at least part of it YOUR celebration. If you're having fun, then the people who love you won't be able to avoid joining in.

P.S. I probably would have rambled less if it weren't for the cold medicine. It's all true though, and you can skip to the last line if you don't want to read the rambles.

It's all good - in much rambling there is much truth. And it is so nice to hear that someone actually HAS danced to Raspberry Swirl.

I guess there are some reception favorites that I will still entertain. I would like to polka at least once with my mother.

I'm glad to hear it. And while I'm here, at the goth night I go to (because I know virtually everyone there, mainly) Heads Will Roll usually has a lot of people dancing to it. And I don't think any of those 4 are un-danceable, even for people you might not expect.

As far as the polka goes....do it! It sounds like fun. :) And I think Weddings sometimes lead people to dance when they normally wouldn't, and laugh and smile when they don't feel like dancing.

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