My heart is in knots.
My brain is trying to come up with every excuse not to go. I don't have any decent dance clothes. I'm way too out of shape to leap back in like that. I won't know anyone, and I'm just too timid.
Basically, a litany of excuses to keep me from going. To keep me from trying, and yes, perhaps making a fool of myself. To hold onto the comfortable bubble that I've mistaken for safety and is really nothing more than apathy. It's why I don't call my old friends from college, why I don't go to most parties, why I don't sign up for a class at the Loft or try out for a play or do really anything any more.
I can't let that own me. I have to go this Saturday. Maybe it will become something more, maybe it's just a one-shot deal. But I have to go, or else... I don't know what else. I think I'll learn to hate myself, maybe.
Besides... contact improv rocks.