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The Dime
Some people's conversation are so fucking banal, I physically cringe. A small desire builds in my hands to cause damage to something; ripping paper, throwing stones, stabbing a sharp object into a piece of wood repeatedly. I get very fucking angry. It's different from boring, it's different from uninteresting. It's mother fucking BANAL in that tried and true, down to the faerie soul-poison kind of way. It's the conversations that make me want to scream "That's your life? That's what you fill yourself up with everyday? My fucking gods, where is your passion? Your light? Your guts?"

I guess there's nothing really wrong with someone's passion being their children, or even... *shudders* administrative services. But let it be a passion, not what you fill your head with, or to what you dedicate your life. Not all passion screams and thrashes and viscerates, but it's at least a glimmer of something in the back of your eye. Even if you hate what you do, show that there's something in the distance that can make you more than a gray form in the shadows. I desperately need to know that these people haven't been consumed by the lifeless 'contentment', despite what their innane and gray conversations indicate.

I'm not a member of the 'witty, brilliant and passionate all the time' club. I have boring conversations, I have small, lifeless details to take care of. And of course this rant stems from an angry and self-centered place. But I think I have passion in the back of me no matter what I'm doing. And it just drives me to rage to be so physically close to this, these people who seem to have nothing that they allow into themselves with enough drive to make them alive. I hate working with people who seem to be nothing more than the cafeteria lunch menu or the latest sale at Wal-Mart.

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I run into this a lot, and chalk it up to people going through the motions of conversation and never being called upon or challenged to be passionate. It's when you try to push them there (gently of course) that you find out kinda what's really going on in their heads.

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