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Winter continues to win the battles
Singing Agathe
wilowisp
They say it has been the coldest winter on record for 36 years, however they reckon the 'cold' of a winter.  It means that it is the coldest winter I have ever been through.  With the struggle, tooth-and-nail, to make it through this season, I can believe it.  March is coming up over the weekend, and the battle against the cold, against the mountains of snow and the thick patches of ice like moss on the streets, all are signs that we are still deeply in the throes of winter.

I wonder how much of the difficult time I've had over the past two months has been linked to this.  Perhaps my body is in overdrive for trying to fend off the creeping cold, and the insipid malaise that lingers in the white landscape.  Such things are usually beautiful to me, but they have taken their toll this year.  I want to believe that with the slow, edging victory of spring, my body and my perceptions of my body will rebound as well.  I want to feel like I can conquer mountains again, instead of feeling old and fat and listless, with a pain that slithers up my side every now and then.

We come too quickly to equinox, and yet I still do not feel like I have enough daylight in a day to truly accomplish something.  This is also a part of my struggle to keep my willpower up, even after an exhausting day at work.  I love my job, I love what I do, but I still find myself so tired when I finally get home, and so unwilling, in the dark and the cold and the fatigue, to tackle the mundane things.  So my body goes unexercised.  Boxes remain unpacked.  Floors unwashed.  I cannot rely on the seasons to push be forward to success.  I need do to it myself.  So far, the writing has been a goal I have managed to stick too.  How do I make this work for other aspects of my life?

As always, I want to read more, write more, dance more and pray more.

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