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A victory unearned?
Muted Real
wilowisp
Perhaps one day I will be asked where I was when Governor Mark Dayton signed marriage equality into law, when the state I was born and raised in finally chose to recognize my union to my husband as legal and valid.

The answer is that I went to work early, walked home in 90 degree weather (warm for May), and spent the evening by myself, because my husband was at work until 9 and then went out with his coworkers. I didn't attend the signing, or the impromptu pride party that followed. I wasn't rallying at the Senate or House vote either. Heck, I never even went to the Capitol, in all the months they debated my marriage.

This victory was hard won, and is due to the tireless efforts and battles fought by brave, outspoken and loving individuals across the spectrum. I do not count myself among them. I did not fight this fight. I carried an illusion that just being myself was somehow contributing to the cause. Yes, I contributed some money. Yes, I participated in a walk. But they seem like such hollow gestures compared to the people with real commitment. An army of me would never have gotten this done, yet now I stand poised to repeat the benefits and the congratulations.

Feeling disconnected and isolated, by nothing more than my own hand. Hell, my mother will be to more gay weddings in the upcoming months than I will.

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